Monday, June 1, 2015

Off Track: Avengers vs Revengers

I almost never write about other companies' characters, but I saw this interesting graphic and it spurred something in me. So I wrote this up, a basic fan fiction. Not a lot to it, but it gets it's own point across. It's totally based on the movie franchises and not comics in any way. Remember that as you red and I hope you enjoy it

Avengers against Revengers.
Here’s how it would start:  The Cennobites are in control and set loose the other horror monsters on New York for all the delicious pain they’ll cause. Freddy is the Captain of the team because he’s the only other one with brains equal to power (which ticks off Chucky to no end).

Here’s how it ends:
Chucky likes the chicks so he goes after Black Widow. Chucky likes to go for the legs first to bring down his prey. He may get that first hit, but after that, she’ll be onto him. Since we are talking about the movie universe, we can’t forget that there is another lady Avenger in training that may not be far away. Namely, Scarlet Witch. Scarlet’s powers are mystical in their existence and she can sense not only Chucky but the Cennobite pals he brought with him. Now Chucky is in real trouble because his ability to act through the doll body is mystical and Scarlet screws that up ten ways to Sunday. Chucky winds up either disenchanted or paralyzed. The Cennobite drones only have so much to fight with to being with, outside of their own dimension, so they go down like good cannon fodder often does.

Next we look at Leatherface who was set loose on the general population with a troop of Cennobites. Here comes Captain America. After the fights he’s been through, a jerk with a chainsaw is not going to scare him. And I’d lay odds he can take down 20 Cennobites without getting tired. You see, all the horror movie creeps are great at killing ordinary people, but that’s not the case now. Now they’re trying to step up to killing extraordinary people and even gods. Not going to happen. We see Leatherface quickly disarmed (and I mean a shield throw that cuts his arms right off) and then another shield throw that pins Leatherfaces head to a wall, cutting it in half cross ways.

Scream takes a trip to Hawkeye’s house. Do I even have to explain what’s going to happen? Even if he takes a squad of Cennobites with him. How many alien deaths are already under the archer’s belt? Go back and count if you have to. You have two full movies worth of fodder to figure it out with. Scream is a nobody compared to the other horror freaks. No powers, nothing. Sure, he’s really sneaky against teenage girls, but he’s way out of his league here.

Pennywise gets sent to create pure chaos in New York, but I have to tell you, it’s going to be very short lived. But he does have Micheal and Jason helping out. Before I tell you what happens, let just remind you that Pennywise was killed with a freaking asthma inhaler. He has only one movie under his belt not much of a body count. He’s a one trick pony here and his true form is just a big spider. By this point, Avengers are closing on the attack.

Cennobites are everywhere. Here comes Thor and Vision. Pennywise’s true form can’t hide from the Mind Gem. Vision gets right to him first and fries himself a big ol spider. Because when it comes to what can kill Pennywise consider which can do more damage; asthma inhaler or mind gem? I’ll let you think about it. 

The Cennobites have no chance against Thor who wipes them out by the dozen with each swing of his hammer. Here come Michael and Jason to team up on the God of Thunder. Since they are so hard to kill by conventional means (which is nothing more than ‘cute’ to Thor) they’re really just a pair of crash test dummies to the big Asgardian. But he may  not get the time he wants to bat them around. Cap, Widow, Scarlet Witch, and a very angry Hawkeye just arrived.

Meanwhile, Stark and Dr. Banner are working on tech to send the Cennobites back to their own dimension. Time for Freddy to take hand. Ol Freddy decides he can take down the biggest and strongest of the pair and jumps into the head of Dr. Banner who slumps to the floor unconscious. I suppose it’s not the worst strategy, but he quickly discovers that, even asleep, Banner is not alone. The shock of meeting Hulk’s mind instead of Banner’s throws Freddy into the physical world, with Hulk right on his heels. Hulk takes him right through a super enforced concrete wall while shouting something about puny blades. He gives Freddy the same treatment he once gave Loki. Freddy doesn’t take the beating nearly as well as Loki could. Next it’s chains and fish hooks from the newly attacking Cennobites. Sure, that’s a good idea, cause now Hulk is really pissed! I’ll let your imagination take it from there, but the Cennobites are dead meat.

Ironman goes into action at this point, but he needs to get his device to downtown NewYork and fast. Meanwhile, Jason and Michael are done for. There is a certain limit for both of them where they have to go back to Hell to regenerate. As you know, that takes at least an average of 5 years (time between movies hahaha) and they more than take that as soon as they get hit by the combined force of the now present Avengers. Heck, Hawkeye gets Jason for himself with a grenade arrow. Michael is fried to dust by lighting combined with hex bolts.

But now comes the big bad! The Cennobite leader himself, good ole Pinhead. And while the rest of the team fights and Ironman sets up his device, it will be just one avenger that puts him over the barrel for a whooping of epic proportions. It’s Vision with the Mind Gem. Vision is the one member of the Avengers that the Cennobites have completely zero chance against. Why? Because they take people on measure of how they can feel pain. Vision doesn’t even register the word. Starks device is trigger and Vision gives Pinhead a royal beat down that will redefine pain for the Cennobite leader forever. And then they’re gone. The winners of the fray, Avengers!
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